The Melbourne Fussy Eater

Sunday, 27 December 2015

Mr Nice Guy: 10 Healeys Lane Melbourne

Mr Nice Guy is a cute little Thai food place off of Little Lonsdale St. It is slightly quirky and tries to do Thai food with a slightly modern flair.

The lunch menu has the key entree, salad, curry and stir fry dishes you want to see plus a couple of chefs specials that offer something different. The food is good quality and tasty and has enough variety that will make me want to come back for more.

Senor Gringo and I shared the tofu salad and massamun curry. The salad had crispy tofu, shredded carrot, red onion, tomatoes and lettuce. It was smothered with satay sauce that while tasty in itself was a bit much for the salad - ask for the dressing on the side and you will solve this problem in a second. The beef in the massamun curry fell apart when I attempted to pick it up, just want you want from a curry dish, and as a nice touch it had broccoli and carrot in addition to the usual potatoes. As I love veggies, this made me happy. Plus, bonus points for them, you can choose white rice, brown rice or rice noodles to accompany your meal. There were also a range of vegan options (or dishes that can be veganised) and celiacs would be well catered for.

Nearly every table had a plate of spring rolls or fish cakes accompanied by lettuce leaves and dipping sauce. So next time I visit Mr Nice Guy I'm going to vote with the crowd and give these a whirl.

Two ticks, I would be a (semi) regular if this place was near my work. Only wish - that this place would have more spice and less sweetness to their food.

Spicy Fish: 209 Little Bourke St Melbourne

Two words: delicious and yum! This place is going to the top of my Chinese food list (which is actually a really short list, hey I'm fussy!).

The menu contained all the Chinese food essentials. Each of the dishes we ordered had complex flavours with layered spices, which gave me confidence that I could order anything and it would be good.

We ordered the shao long bao (steamed pork buns that contain soup), which were really lovely (think about a dish that you would call lovely, you know it is better than average). Plus, the dry fried chilli beef, which was fabulous.

I was overjoyed to see dry fried chilli beef on the menu. I have not found it anywhere else in Melbourne so far and frankly I was beginning to think something was wrong with the city for its absence (joking, Melbourne is awesome)! Dry fried chilli beef is one of my favourite Chinese food dishes and I don't think I have had it better anywhere else, thank you Spicy Fish. The dish was salty and spicy and a little bit sour. My lips were pleasantly burning at the end and as it was rated as 1 chilli, I would say this place deserves a spice warning in general. I usually go for the spiciest dishes on the menu and often ask for more. If this dish gave me burning lips, I'm curious to see what they rate as three chillis(?!) For the record, Senor Gringo was bright red and had to drink copious amounts of water and he probably represents the general public when it comes to his tolerance level.

Three ticks.

Mm, fried beef goodness

The menu has pretty pictures for everything, so you know what you're getting.

My Taiwanese friend ordered this. It was basically cold cooked bacon. I couldn't bring myself to eat it but it got a big thumbs up.

Monday, 2 November 2015

Kokoro Ramen: 157 Lonsdale Street Melbourne

Let's be clear, ramen is definitely not high brow food. But it is certainly yummy and sometimes just what you need.

Kokoro Ramen is a student haven (the exact sort of people you would trust to pick out good ramen). It is cheap and fast and loud. They have a whole bunch of mix and match meal deals and design your own ramen options, along with chef selections. The noodles are homemade and so is the gyoza but... they make it once a week and then freeze it. You can kind of tell. I would still recommend it as the broth is delicious, so rich and warming.

Fussy eaters do need to be careful though. The tofu salad comes with a creamy sauce that contains egg, as do a good number of the onigiri. The vegetarian ramen is advertised as having a vegan broth but I asked what is in it and they mentioned butter (random). The vegan ramen also contains egg noodles - you can go without but you need to specify thin noodles not curly noodles. I have had the vegan broth twice and it tasted completely different each time. The second time I spent the afternoon coughing, clearing my throat and feeling as though I was wading through concrete. I recommend you check and double check your order. When you do they generally call over someone that speaks better English and you shouldn't have any problems (no guarantees). The pork broth is the best.

Things they do well: Agedashi tofu

Tempura

Edamame

Miso soup

Ramen soup

meal deals

Bring cash and enjoy Two ticks

meal deal sized ramen, gyoza & onigiri

Dikstein's Corner Bar: 433 Little Collins Street Melbourne

This bar feels like a home away from home. There is something I really like about it. It has that cosy, cluttered feel. The shelves are full of old wine bottles and cigar boxes and other little kitschy things.

The food is hearty and homely - pizza, pasta, goulash, stew and pasties. The pizza seems to be the star, there was one on every table. The dough is freshly made on the premises, not store bought and has the perfect texture. Along with the perfect size, single serve presented on a bread board.

I chose the salami pizza with pickled peppers. Mmm salami and pickled peppers. It was so good. Senor Gringo had the bococcini and pesto pizza. Apparently very flavoursome but a little on the oily side - really what would you expect with pesto and cheese??

I'm going back. Next time it will be after work and I'll have one of their many whiskeys to accompany my pizza. Check the facebook page, they have deals pretty regularly and not just on cocktails.

Two ticks

Monday, 21 September 2015

DonToo: 330 Little Lonsdale Street Melbourne

DonToo has a small lunch menu and is not exactly fussy eater friendly. By day the restaurant does not serve ramen noodle soups, which is a bit sad as it is apparently the chefs specialty.

For lunch you can choose between:
¨ grilled beef, pork or chicken
¨ curry tofu, beef or chicken
¨ beef udon or soba noodle soup (the udon noodles contain egg)
¨ a cold soba noodle salad (vegetarian – ask for no mayo if you are vegan) or
¨ a lunch box with two types of meat, salad, rice and pickles.

I ordered the cold soba noodle salad. It was decent, not too stingy on the vegetables but the dressing was very sweet and overall it was nothing remarkable.

Senor Gringo had the lunch box, which came with grilled beef slices in soy sauce and chicken teriyaki. The chicken looked okay but Senor Gringo assured me the chunks of meat were fatty, poor quality and too sweet. The beef slices also had a line of fat along the edge which must be a quite traditional thing as it is quite common. Senor Gringo was not impressed and didn’t finish his meal.

Most tables ordered the beef or pork soup which contained a boiled egg. I wanted a soup but didn't feel like meat that day and they weren’t willing to substitute tofu. The beef looked fatty anyway and I wouldn’t have been happy, which is a shame because the broth smelled delicious from afar.

I’m giving this place one tick. Lunch is really cheap ($5.9-$9) and I think the quality matches.

Wednesday, 16 September 2015

Los Latinos: 128 Mitchell Street Maidstone

In demonstrating my commitment to the tick strategy, I have been to Los Latinos three times (although this is my first review).

If you care about service and the vibe of a restaurant this is not the place for you. If you want home style cooking that has probably stayed the same for eons, visit Los Latinos.

It is a strange little place. It is small and bright but it looks like it was furnished in the 1980s with little attention since. The main waiter is also a bit tired and in need of a little energy - he can become quite flustered and huff and puff and roll his eyes when you request to be seated or served. Ignore it. I bet he works long hours and needs a break.

The menu is dominated by plantains, pupusas (a much thicker version of a tortilla), shredded beef/pork/chicken and the odd seafood dish. Everything we had our first time round was amazing – chorizo in little tortillas with zesty fresh salsa; vegetarian tacos tinga made on the spot with pico de gallo and guacamole; plus some kind of platter with strips of beef, greens, pico de gallo and rice (sadly I haven’t been able to figure out what this was, perhaps they made a mistake when they piled all these options on one plate). Everything was well balanced with a good mix of zing and earthy flavours. Paired with a margarita (not the frozen kind) and it was home style foodie heaven.

Second time around we ordered nachos, which was totally rubbish – supermarket corn chips, an unappetising dollop of beans and a tiny smidge of salsa. I asked for the beef version with no cheese or sour cream and they obviously decided I really just wanted beans. Not nice. Stay away from any of the corn chips options. You could do better yourself. Our second dish was shredded beef, beans, rice, plantains and arepas (a south American flatbread) served on a sizzling plate. I asked for no dairy but I got it anyway. This dish was nice but without something fresh to break up the flavours it did feel a bit stodgy.

On our third trip we ordered the chorizo entrée again – yum, the beef tacos tinga – also very yum and yuca frita con chicharonnes – deep fried plantain (think potato or taro), with pork (belly maybe), curtido (fermented cabbage) and a hot chilli salsa. This was a wonderful choice – lots of flavour, everything was very balanced and my belly sung the chefs praises.

In essence, order a dish with a mix of fresh and cooked ingredients, stay away from the corn chips, ignore the rubbish service and order yourself a beer. It’ll make for a good start to your weekend I promise.

Two ticks.

Tuesday, 15 September 2015

Brim CC: 601 Little Collins Street Melbourne

Brim CC is a super packed Japanese fusion place near Southern Cross Station and I mean super packed - the line is often out the door.

You'll forgive me then for feeling disappointed. The food is pretty, organic and has just as many options for vegans, vegetarians and meat eaters alike, but I found it lacking in oomph. No amazing flavours. Everything was muted. If this was near my work, I would go there occasionally simply because its organic and better than many processed food venues but I didn't love it. Purple peanut is better and right round the corner at 620 Collins Street. If you don't like strong flavours and you are in the area, than this is probably the place for you.

We ordered two bento boxes to share - the Tokyo bento and the vegetarian special. The Tokyo bento had three rice balls (which is a bit much thanks - one would have been fine), a hamburger steak meatball and potato salad (both contained egg), grilled eggplant and tofu with miso paste (not bad but I've had much better) and sauteed carrots. All very gum-able. I imagine this is what a child or an old person would eat for dinner. As I said, very mild flavours and I didn't try the meatball but it looked unappetising.

The Vegetarian Special I would go so far as to call bland. It contained a small dish of soy beans in a tomatoey type sauce, cold tofu with a tiny bit of carrot dressing (it would have been completely flavourless without the dressing), a random pile of diced tomato with nothing on it (??), grilled pumpkin (which offered some natural flavour), traditional cucumber pickles (thankfully - I love pickles) and sweet daikon (it was meant to be sweet and salty but wasn't).

The most popular lunch choice is the combo - mix and match soup, salad and rice with curry. The soups seemed fairly random for a Japanese fusion place - Russian borscht, French sausages and veggies, vegetarian ginger and carrot and Hungarian goulash with gnocchi. The curries were more of what you would expect - katsu, Tokyo style beef curry and Tokyo chicken and tomato.

Apart from the abundance of rice, the food is pretty healthy and does offer a nice alternative to other options but it is for those with a very mild palate. I love bold flavours so I won't be returning but I do recognise everyone is different and clearly this place is popular so it must be filling a void.

One tick.

Yong Green Food: 421 Brunswick Street Fitzroy

Fitzroy seems to have an endless capacity for vegan and vegetarian restaurants. Yong Green Food is either new, or perfectly capable of keeping up with trends. It specialises in raw, vegan, gluten free and biodynamic foods but still has plenty of cooked dishes and many of the old school vegetarian favourites (buckwheat pancakes, lentil and chickpea burgers, nori rolls, pizzas, curries and stews).

I went there as I practically drooled over the menu one morning while out shopping. Plenty of fermented foods and drinks, plant based meals and even quite a few mock meat options. I feel like I haven't had mock meat in years!

My dish didn't disappoint - mock sword fish with lemon tahini sauce, biodynamic brown rice, steamed veggies, lotus root chips, house made pickles and miso soup. Senor Gringo had a dragon bowl with tempeh, brown rice, seasonal vegetables, kimchi, seaweed and lemon cream. Everything was tasty and would suit vegans. Plus, we both walked away full and feeling healthy. Even our drinks fit the bill - I had a cultured drink with fig, ginger, cinnamon and lemon; Senor Gringo had an alkaline watermelon and lemon crush.

I recommend you book as you might get turned away or have a long wait. We didn't book but we went straight after work and within 15 minutes of arriving there was not one single table spare.

If you go to this place you will also need to get past the flaky wait staff who seem to be off in dream land and the slightly grubby feel to the interior (it may just be the poor lighting).

Two ticks. I'm going back when I have my next mock meat craving or I'm in the mood for raw food.

Cafe Vue: 430 Little Collins Street Melbourne

This place is exactly the kind of place my former boss (a barrister) would have taken me. Even on a Friday the place was packed with solicitors and business types, which figures as it is within easy walking distance of three courts and the Law Institute.

The menu is dominated by smoked trout, confit duck, wagyu beef and classics such as curried egg and watercress sandwiches, homemade pies, chicken salad and grilled barramundi, you get the picture.

I feel bad for saying this is definitely not the place for me, as they clearly try hard to cater for fussy eaters, but their clientele is clearly above all suits and their strange food preferences that I will never understand.

Feeling uninspired, I ordered a salad, which was $14 for a bunch of leaves, cucumber shavings and a mild dressing. The waitress did warn me but I didn't want a salad sandwich (the clearly marked vegan option) or meat minus everything that adds flavour (mayo, cheese and cream were on everything else).

Senor Gringo ordered a lunch box with a bite sized wagyu beef burger, dahl, a sliver of stiff roti, Indian dip and a tiny cake. Everything was cold. Stone cold. Not just it has been left sitting there for five minutes while the waiter rushed about but we never intended for this to be warm. Weird. Senor Gringo didn't enjoy his food and he was still hungry so we both headed off to work disappointed and in search of something quick before we got on with work.

I wondered how they made it into the Good Food Guide.

If you do go here, the wait staff are lovely and you will be well taken care of.

One tick.

Touche Hombre: 233 Lonsdale Street Melbourne

Senor Gringo and I visited Touche Hombre during lunch on a bright sunny Monday. The outdoor tables were full but the indoor tables were empty. I put this down to the after work/lazy Sunday vibe of the place - it looks like a cross between a trendy bar and hipster café, with waiters to match.

The menu is interesting. It is clearly not your standard pork/beef/vegetarian place. You can order blue swimmer crab tostadas with pickled chilli and lime pearls; crumbed haloumi tacos with pickled beetroot aioli, herb, pear and pistachio salsa, duck carnitas or chimichurri chicken burritos. Lots of options! To me, this shows the chefs have put some thought into their food and are not here to deliver the same as everyone else. Vegetarians and gluten free eaters are well catered for and if you don’t eat dairy your options aren’t limited but vegans would be left eating the guacamole. Sorry guys!

I ordered the guacamole with slow cooked beef rib. This is exactly what I felt like on the day but if I wanted to order else I would have to do some serious altering to find food to suit - damn aioli everywhere. The guacamole was advertised as an entrée but it was very filling for a lunch option. The chips were great, not the same rubbish as you find on most supermarket shelves; the guacamole was zesty, more-ish and very flavoursome. It was topped off with pomegranate seeds and pickled radish - clearly someone here understands the importance of fermented foods! And my slow cooked beef rib was off the bone, nicely spiced and quickly devoured. I did not have room for anything else.

Senor Gringo ordered the sirloin steak burrito with truffled fried egg, habanero cream, pico de gallo black beans and rice. He said the flavours were very mild and it was nice but it could have benefited from some fresh veg, lemon or extra spice to counteract the cream and egg. If you care about vegetables, I would recommend you keep this in mind and make your choices to suit.

I’ll head back to this place on a summer afternoon.